from the PBeM I play
This was just too funny to pass up.
For context, our alien bad guys remove "irrational species" from their homeworlds.
*Report forwarded us from the Species self identified -intercoursers- subject species self identified -humans-*
*Subject custom/cultural activity indicating irrational behaviour*
*Activity process on annual cycle, coinciding with annual daylight minimums at homeworld major population centers*
*Activity involves mass acquisition of material goods, followed by mass ceremonial redistribution of goods acquired.*
*Biological/environmental source rejected as phenomenon occurs in all environments. Note population centers identified -Australia- -Argentina- -South Africa- show similar patterns, yet local daylight is at annual maximum.*
*Mating Ritual rejected as phenomenon appears focused on redistribution of goods to juvenile members*
*Review Evidence- Image recording of ceremonial goods acquisition at population center identified -New York-. Note extreme stress/conflict associated with goods acquisition, despite ready availability of same goods during remaining 90% of annual Human activity cycle.
*Conclusion: Human Activity Process identified -Christmas- 88% likely to be ritualized combat behaviour.
*Warning Species Likely Highly Irrational.*
Well, I thought it was funny.